Week Two: |
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As we move up onto Valentine's Day, it's finally turned to Winter again up here. It's been cold (in the twenties) and there's a light coating of snow on the ground again. But don't get me wrong. I'm not really complaining. December was pretty cold, but January was unusually nice.
I mean, I do live in Ohio, so I do expect it to be winter-y and snowy some at least. 
(Check out the end of this week's entry to see that I predicted
correctly. LOL) |
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Oh, I went to my doctor this week. I got to see him and Dr. Ming the Merciless. (I bet you're wondering who Dr. Ming the Merciless is. See, my doctor is a doctor of infectious diseases, that means a lot of doctors-in-training need to learn this field; but few stay in this specialized field. So through the years and several infectious disease doctors, I've also encountered a lot of doctors training through my doctor's office. Dr Ming (I don't remember the last name; but he is a nice, younger, Oriental guy) has been nicknamed the Merciless because, like his namesake in the old serials who gave no leeway to Flash Gordon, Dr. Ming was quite merciless with me too. Hence the name.  ) Dr. Ming fussed about my smoking and fussed about my "non-compliance" for missing a few doses of my meds through the last few months. |
The results from the latest blood work is in:
my viral load went from undetectable to 5700,
while my T-cells dropped a little from 223 to 186 |
Below is a chart that I made comparing my viral
load counts and T-cell counts from 1998-2006
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There is a happy note to all of this though, for my birthday this year, instead of having pneumonia or an unexplained fever (and hopefully no blizzards!),
it looks like I'll
be having my next blood work done!  I know, it doesn't sound like that is all that happy of a
birthday present; but look at what
it's compared to.  The blood work is a lot easier and a lot less worrisome than the other options. |
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As my utilities (gas and power) were about to be disconnected, I got an appt. with HEAP (Home Energy Assistance Program). They
paid up some on my utilities and then put me on a PIP plan (percentage of income payment plan), that'll allow me to pay a reasonable amount and still keep the utilities on.
WooHoo!  Oh, and I have also gotten my new drug prescription
insurance card through the Social Security Medicare Part D program,
and I didn't get hit too badly. I just had my next batch of meds
refilled and paid $14 in co-payments. Sure that isn't as good as
when I didn't pay anything; but it still isn't back considering the
meds run over $2,500 a month! |
| Next on my agenda is contacting Social Security so that they don't take my WHOLE check. I have been able to chat with a social service worker here in town, and she was able to help me some. She also told me that she had run into similar problems like mine, and that SS should only take a portion of my monthly check, so that I'll still be able to pay my bills (rent and utilities). |
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Since the cold has set back in, we've been stuck
back inside, trying to stay warm, and working on puzzles. This is
another Kinkaid puzzle that we've just finished up at DO's house.
It's a special "glow-in-the-dark" puzzle. Soon I plan to collect all
these from DO, put them back together, glue them and hang them up at
my house. |
MouseOver to see this puzzle glow in the dark |
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Even though my health has been okay
lately, some of my friends and family aren't having as good of a
time. In the last couple of weeks, two of my moms (the real one
(Celia) in
NC, and the local one (DO) in town) have had husbands in the
hospital. And neither man is doing very well.  |
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Since about Thanksgiving time, Cliff
(DO's husband, who was in the hospital several yrs. ago [Mar 2002]) hasn't been
feeling too well and had been getting more and more moody. Finally,
Cliff decided to go to the hospital where, not only did he find that
he has diabetes (and had a very high sugar count of 400), but he also
had a mild heart attack while in the ER!  He spent 4 or 5
days in the hospital and has been home a week or so now. He's doing
better now that he's on insulin shots; but the prognosis isn't
very good. Especially since an x-ray recently turned up some spots
on his lungs. Of course, for Cliff, none of this is surprising. He
didn't live a very healthy life (a major drinker and smoker who eats
way too much fried foods), and continues in many of his bad habits
even though the doctors have warned him about his fragile and frail
health. |
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| Back home in the Carolinas, my mom's
husband, Dennis, isn't doing too well either. He's been struggling
with cancer for many years already with limited success.
This past weekend, he ended up in the ER with heart problems too.
The doctors have determined that Dennis has some heart damage that
has caused one side of his heart to enlarge and do most of the work;
but it's having a hard time doing that. It sounds like he'll need
surgery for this problem; but with his other health problems,
surgery might not be practical or advisable. |
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| Although I do feel bad for both men
(I've been in a hospital before myself, and being confronted with
your own mortality while sick is a doubly hard position to be in),
I'm also worried about my two Moms too. It's not easy for any of us
to manage our own lives without worrying about our loved ones when
their health condition is so precarious. All the regular shared
household duties now fall onto the shoulders of the other partner, along
with managing doctors and meds, and worrying about what the future
will hold. |
| Unfortunately, Nana and I have already gone through the experience of dealing with a loved one as illness has made the end much nearer and more inevitable. These are some of the worst times. After they pass, there is actually some relief that the dreaded event has finally come and gone, and you have survived; but until that time, the fear, dread, worry, and depression build and build. |
I'd like to tell you one of my own stories to explain:
For the two years before Randy died, I was working as a courier driving around Akron 6-8 hrs a day.
(My job was to deliver inter-office mail, etc. mainly for banks.) As I drove around town, it would take me anywhere from 10-20 minutes between banks. During this time, I listened to the radio (ah, the first time I ever heard Nine Inch Nails or the Smashing Pumpkins), and
I thought. I thought about Randy, back at the house sick. I thought about his meds.
I thought about the doctor appointments. I thought about losing him. Suddenly, some synapse would click, and I'd realize something else about Randy's condition that had
deteriorated over the last few weeks. (So many of these problems mindlessly, incessantly creep up until they are suddenly noticed.) Then my thinking would turn to crying. Crying about how bad Randy must be feeling; with me, unable to do anything to make the situation better. Crying and worrying about what the future would hold for ME afterwards. Crying about...wait, gotta dry my eyes, and pull down the sunglasses, I'm at my next pickup stop. Gotta smile for the customers. For two long years, that was my weekly work schedule. Luckily my schedule was only part-time, since all of my left-over "free time" was then spent at home, helping with meds, cooking, cleaning, etc. and just spending as much of the remaining time as possible with Randy. |
| I know Mom and DO's situations aren't exactly like mine (luckily this
situation isn't happening to them at only 30 yrs. old), but it's a similar situation. Right now,
both Moms are going through (hopefully) a few years of that worrying, crying and thinking.
As you keep Dennis and Cliff in your thoughts and prayers, please
remember my Moms too. I know we all have our own problems, but
aren't they so much smaller and more manageable when all you are
worried about are the bills, engagements, the kids, the pets, etc.,
and not the serious worries of a life and death situation. |
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But I'd like to end this
update on a happier note. Mainly because, even though things aren't
all that good (my health, my finances, the situations with Cliff and
Dennis), life still continues it's daily grind and you have to
appreciate the happiness that you do have in your life, while you
have your life.
The happiness in my life is Jim.  We've been an official
couple for just over a year now, and survived a Valentine's Day
without any illness this year (not like last year!). Even though Jim
has been out of work again, we do have each other and that counts
for so much. Having already been through what my moms are going
through, I can tell you that life is very fleeting, so you have to
make the most of what you have when you have it. I still can't
believe that I've been so lucky to have gotten a second chance with
love. My life is so much brighter, and the future much more
promising with Jim in my life, regardless of what the future will
bring. |
Remember me mentioning at the first of this week's entry that I was sure we'd still be having Winter in Ohio, even though the weather hasn't been too bad? Well, Winter is really here at the middle of February. Last night although we only got a trace of snow in Canton, the temps sure have dropped. Last night's low was 4 and the high today is only going to struggle up to 20!! BRRRR!
The only real problem with this weather is that there isn't enough
snow for Jim and I to go sledding like we did a few yrs. ago (Jan
2004)
[return to the top of this entry] |
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Week Three: |
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Here's some interesting info about my house that I found recently on the Stark Cty, OH website:
(Pix from Dec 2002) |
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The house was built in 1907 - that means that I'll have to start planning a centennial birthday party for my house for next year.  It has one and 1/2 stories, which holds 999 square feet of living space. In the last online tax
evaluation (2003), my house is listed at a worth of $37,100 ($10,700 for the land, and $26,400 worth of house). |
Gabby reported back to me that Nami and Baba are doing well. Gabby frequently rides with Jim now, when he leaves here to check on his house and the kitties. She really LOVES to go for car rides now. Just say the words, "Wanna go for a ride?", and she's up, dancing around, and heading for the front door.
And speaking of the kitties, Nami has obviously taught Baba all the "cool" spots in the house. Although they both like hanging out in the basement or under Jim's bed, they can often be found on cold days hanging out in Jim's bathroom sink. (Pssst. That's because there is a heater vent underneath the counter and the sink actually stays nicely warm in the winters. ) |
Nami, July 2002 |
Baba, Feb 2006 |
Some of you may know that Jim has been un-employed
again for a while. Fortunately, he's about to start a new job -
maybe THREE new jobs. He's already gotten a place as a salesman at a
Nissan dealership; but will only work there for a week until a
management position is ready for him at a rental outlet. And then,
there are still a few more offers out there that might that might
come through in the next week. Keep your fingers crossed for him!
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I finally chatted with a nice lady at Social Security and
have gotten that situation worked out some. Of course, they are still going to get their money; but it won't be quite as bad as taking my whole check. Just barely! They are only going to take $175 per month (that'll pay the amount back in 36 months), starting in April. I guess I'm still going to have to find something to make some extra income
because that only leaves me with enough for housing, gas and electric (on PIP), and the water; but it won't cover the phone, the cable, gas in the car, etc. At least it's better than total destitution.  |
| It's getting closer and closer to time for Tara to be having little Ella now (about a month - which means ANOTHER March birthday for all of us to celebrate ). Tara sent me some more pictures of her little girl, along with some pictures of the newly-painted room for the baby. I sure hope that Ella likes pink. |
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I'm still just amazed that they can get pictures like this now. It'll be interesting to compare these pictures to the pictures when she's finally out of the womb.
See you soon, Ella! |
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Week Four: |
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And speaking of birthdays, let me wish Lisa and Donny the first of many "Happy Birthdays!"
during the next month worth of days.  Of course, these two are just the start,
since Ritchie, Angie, Austin, Celia, Linda, Mike P., Jon, and myself will all be
turning a year older soon. And we can't forget Ella, who'll probably arrive in
time to get added to this list. . |
Also in March, besides all those birthdays, DO's is going to be having knee surgery - on both knees! She's really been having a hard time walking lately and has put this surgery off as long as she could. Although she's not really chipper about having to have it done (on Mar.8th), I just keep reminding her that she'll be healed up in time for plenty of Summer fun!! |
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Usually, a lousy month, February wasn't too bad this year. It was pretty cold a couple of days, but
not like Dec. or a normal Feb. Not much snow
fell either; although this last weekend gave us a dusting of the white
stuff. Even though I usually have a lot of troubles in this month (making rent and the utility payments, keeping the old car running, etc.), this year the same problems didn't get me down as much as they usually do. |
Don't get me wrong though. I didn't
like having to apply for HEAP assistance; but it sure is nice to be
able to turn my heat up a little bit past 58 degrees, especially
when it's only 20 outside. I'm not happy paying
$14 co-pay for my meds when they were free; but at least I still can
get the meds! I don't know how I'm going to survive on only $450 a
month (Did I mention that two months ago my house payment went up,
due to insurance costs, to $320?); but it's better than having NO
income at all for the next year. |
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