| Week One: |
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| Christmas
LeftOvers |
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Just like some leftover turkey or Christmas cookies, here are a few
more pictures left over from last year. |
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Joyce turned on her webcam for a while on Christmas. She was busy
working on the Christmas dinner, wearing the apron (with matching
mitt) that I got her for Christmas. When I saw it in the store, I
knew that was the present Jim would have gotten for her.
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Not only did she show off
the Christmas apron;
but she also showed me a pie and an eye!!
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More wind blowing through town, at the
end of December, brought
down a couple more branches in Joyce's backyard. Thank goodness none
of these fallen trees or branches has hit her house or deck . . .
yet.
In less than half an hour, with Jim's nippers, I had the branches
reduced to manageable pieces and stacked on the wood pile. |
| Just a couple days after
Christmas then, with temps in the low 60s, the good weather sent DO and I out for a stroll
through the parks. |
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DO
and my shadow
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During the Summer months,
the McKinley Monument can't be seen through the trees;
but during the bare Winter months, it's amazing just how close the
building is to the lake. |
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| MouseOver
Pictures! |
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| Joyce and Rosita take some
time on the bridge to enjoy the sunshine and landscape. |
While I was taking a picture of Joyce,
Joyce was taking a picture of me |
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Gratuitous
Butt Shot |
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Ah, but this is Ohio and
our weather is always fickle. By the next morning, things were back
to normal-
normal for Winter that is, and that means there was sn*w back on the
ground. |
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| More
MouseOver Pictures! |
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| Find the Monument |
A View from a Van |
| A Shanklin
Christmas |
| Though I haven't been able
to see my friend Tara, or stay in good touch with her, since our
trip together last Feb, the internet does still keep us connected. I
recently got some Christmas pix from her that show how much the kids
have grown this past year. |
A typical Christmas morning picture.
"Hug your sister"
"Hug your brother"
"No you won't get cooties"
"Try
to smile; it won't kill you"
"DO it, because I said so!" |
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"Ow! Austin hit me in the back of the head"*
*I have no proof Austin hit Ella.
It just looks like
something "might" have happened. |
Ah! Finally some sibling
love on Christmas morning
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| Santa must have been by
because somebody ate the cookies! |
Bet Jeremy is glad for the Christmas
robe. Ohio Christmases are a LOT colder than the Christmases down in
South Carolina.
At least this pix shows that I'm not the only goofy one to have come
North for Christmas knowing it'd be cold and snowy. |
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| Jeremy and Austin visiting with family |
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Finally! A pix of Mom (Tara)
with her little Princess
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Not only did Carolynn get a new
computer for Christmas
(that I helped her get set up on Christmas day);
but see also got a nifty new webcam. |
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Week Three: |
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| A Completed
Project |
You may remember that
after I moved into my new home just over 4 months ago, that I had a
project to put some shelves over my desk. I tried building a
shelving unit; but let's just say things didn't work out as I
planned
(but I do have wood for other projects stored down in the basement
now
).
So before we got snowed in from the latest blast of cold, I changed
my plan (picked up screws, brackets and shelving boards) and now I
have shelves over my desk. |
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I also picked up a little
corner shelf to use by the bed. You can MouseOver this picture to
see CloseUps for
the shelf and fountain, the pictures on the wall, and the doggie in
the bed.
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| Update from the Doctor |
I've had the most amazing
year (health-wise) out of the 16 that I've lived with AIDS. Back in
2006-2007, my viral load blipped up 5 times (<6000), though I had
been religiously sticking to my meds since 12/2004 when I committed
to taking them to stay alive for Jim. But things leveled back out
and by 1/3/08 (nearly the first day of the year) my labs were 264
T-cells and a viral load <75. Even though times were terrible during
2008 (the stress of watching over Jim in the hospital those 60 days,
then caring for Jim those days at home before he passed away,
neglecting my own care, going off meds for nearly 6 months, stressed
about losing the house, utilities and car, stressed about moving to
the new house), after all that, my labs just came back from 12/31/08
(the last day of the year) and my T-cells are 255 with a <75 viral
load. WooHoo!
So in a year where I lost nearly everything but my boyz (my 3 cocker
spaniels, the last of a line I've had for nearly 25 yrs) and
everything about my life changed, my counts basically stayed stable
for a whole year.
Oh,
I still have PN problems, still puke 6 times a month from the meds,
etc; but nothing got worse this year. Though it can't counter my
loss of Jim, finally having a year of being almost undetectable and
no really change in my T-cells count does bring a little bit of
balance to my life. |
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| Results from 2008 labs: |
| Date |
Viral Load |
T-cells |
| 01/03 |
<75 |
264 |
| 02/28 |
189 |
250 |
| 04/10 |
2545 |
225 |
| 05/29 |
0 |
214 |
| 09/04 |
<75 |
256 |
| 10/02 |
<50 |
243 |
| 12/31 |
<75 |
255 |
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I'm not surprised by the blip in April,
as I had been off meds for nearly a month and a half at that point.
The T-cells dip came nearly a month after Jim's death and just days
after I had his Memorial Service at Randy's grave. With as little
sleep as I had been getting then and as depressed as I was, that dip
doesn't surprise me either. What did surprise me then and now is
that the blip and dip weren't worse considering what I was going
through. |
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I didn't really go back on
my regimen until the first of Sept when I moved into my new place.
My doctor wrote orders for a resistance test; but we're hoping that
since I was on this regimen for four solid yrs, and off of it for so
short a time, and didn't have a massive viral load change, that I
haven't screwed up anything.
(usually by 6 months off meds, I've been about to be hospitalized,
not waiting for the snow to melt so I can go bike riding in the park
)
Oh, my liver functions are all great, cholesterol is 156, blood
sugar 101, and I still weigh the same 130 lbs that I did when I
graduated from hi school way back in '80.
(I thought by now that I'd be up to my winter weight of 135 (it's OH
and I need all the padding I can get for my NC-bred body to get
through the cold); but I guess I didn't eat enough Christmas
cookies.
)
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I still miss Jim something
terrible though.
Just eleven months ago, I was returning from a trip to NC (to visit
my family before all of our bdays in March) to find Jim was becoming
quite sick. Soon I'll be thinking back on last March and April when
Jim spent those 60 days of hell in the hospital.
(see the my blog from last March and
April if you don't know the story) I
don't know why I would have stayed so stable when so much went bad;
but, after this year, I'm very thankful my health wasn't another
problem in the mix. |
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For a larger version of
this chart, and more info about my lab work,
click this chart. |
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Week Four: |
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| A New
Roomie |
No, Sean hasn't come back
and we haven't gotten someone new for the third bedroom.
Our newest roomie is feline and her name is Corissa (Cori for
short). |
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Joyce had been trying to
get John a kitten for Christmas; but hadn't found one by the
holiday. ( leatherman's
tip #385: never give a pet as a present. You should always let the
owner choose their own pets when they are ready for them.) She kept
looking and finally found one last kitten left in a litter looking
for a good home.
Unfortunately, bringing the kitten home turned into quite an
adventure.
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Since she's not the best with directions,
Joyce asked me to drive her and John to pick up the kitten. She gave
me the address (which as a former courier was all the information I
needed), I google-mapped it, and off we went. Unfortunately, we
could find no house on that street with that address. Joyce, who
seemed a bit keyed up and anxious already, began to get a little
panicky about not finding the address. She got out of the van and
trudged up and down the snow-covered sidewalks, canvassing several
homes on either side of the street trying to find the right house of
someone selling kittens.
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Unable to find the right house, we went back to Joyce's so she could
call for better directions. (I still miss the cell phone I had with
Jim. It would have been nice on my trip to the Carolinas and would
have been helpful with this problem.) We drove back to the area and
still were unable to find this address.
By now, Joyce was getting freaked out and getting pretty upset by
being unable to find the kitten. I took the opposite opinion, that this
meant this wasn't the kitten that John was supposed to have; but
Joyce didn't want to hear that, so we headed back to her house one
more time.
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Ah! Once I actually had Joyce look at the address she had written
down, we found out we had been on the wrong street entirely. Instead
of Claredon, the kitten's home was on Claremont, six blocks away.
So one more trip, and we finally found the correct house. |
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"What ARE those big hairy
things in the kitchen?!?!"
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| Corissa the
kitty |
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| I must admit to have some
mixed feelings about the new kitten. I'm not really pleased that
she's here but I'll deal with it. |
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| Before you start thinking
that leatherman hates the cat, let me explain. Foremost, I am a "dog
person" (note the packs of spaniels I've had over the years) and not
a "cat person". Of course, I had my own cat, Sheagra, who passed
away just a few years ago at 19 yrs. old; but she was really Randy's
cat and not actually my cat. Though I lived with Jim's cats
some (and loved Showie, the Siamese, the most!), those were Jim's
cats and not mine either. I think cats are fine; but I understand
dogs and think cats are just too independent for my taste in pets. |
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| Also, there's the little
problem that I'm slightly allergic to cats. Whenever I've been
scratched by a cat, the scratch has always itched and welted-up. In
general, cats also make make eyes itch and water. Actually another
reason that I didn't move to Jim's house sooner was because of the
cats. I tended not to even visit his house during the Winter (when I
would be cooped up inside with the cats, their dander and fur)
because of how my sinuses would start acting up and my eyes would
itch. I guess I didn't have so many problems with Sheagra because I
had lived with her for so many years, plus she was always a little
stand-offish with me and I didn't pet her (and stir up the dander)
very much. |
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| Another issue about having
another pet (cat or dog) is really an issue about where I am in
life. I've now outlived most of my dogs, my cat, and all of Jim's
cats. Now I have three dogs that are getting old (Joxer is going to
be 10 this year, and his two brothers, Aries and Zeus, will be 9
yrs. old), I wasn't really planning on any new pets (for hopefully a
few more years) until I had lost most of the boyz. (I have, however,
been thinking forward about a new pet in the future. My tentative
plans are to get either another cocker or a boxer (female) before I
lose the last of the boyz.) Having lost Jim,
right now I'm more in a place of "simplifying" my life rather than
adding any new complications. Personally, too much has happened
within the last year, for me to want ANY more changes in my life
right now. |
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| Speaking of the boyz, I
have to consider them too in this decision of a new animal in the
house. Although all three of them lived with Sheagra at my old
house, and with Nami for a while at Jim's house, I'm a little
anxious about Aries and Zeus around such a small kitten. Those two
have always had quite a bit of sibling rivalry going on between
themselves. I'd hate for the kitten to be caught in the middle of
one of their fights, or one of them snapping at the kitten and
hurting it. |
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There are also two final
issues that I have about getting a cat that involve my housemate.
First, he's never been one to keep an animal very long. As a truly
responsible pet-owner, I'm often dismayed by the way people get pets
(which they usually had no business getting anyway) and then when
they don't like the pet or their situation changes and they can no
longer keep their pet, they move on to the next pet. If you don't
have the room to let your pet out, if you don't have some sort of
fencing, if you can't afford the food, well, then you shouldn't have
a pet. I do understand that John was often in situations where you
couldn't move with pets, and is now is a much more stable position
to care and keep a pet; but his track record just isn't that great.
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| But (there's always a
"but" isn't there. LOL and I'm not talking about a GBS pix), getting
a kitten wasn't my decision. I didn't
feel that with John paying his half of the house and utilities,
along with having 3 dogs myself, that I had a right to not allow
John to have a pet of his own if he wished. I voiced some of my
objections, of course; but when I was first asked I didn't have an
answer immediately (I still don't really know the "right" answer
now), so I guess my silence was taken as consent. |
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| Which leads to my final
problem with a new pet. I no longer have a boyfriend and this is NOT
my pet. As I'm learning to be single once again, I find that
I'm easily irritated when I feel that I am being too "relied upon";
especially when I have taken care of my own issues. I'm not saying
that I wouldn't be kind, love, play and help care for this kitten;
but the responsibility for this cat (it's food, it's litter, it's
safety among the dogs) doesn't lie on my shoulders at all. |
| Working on
Getting Back on Track |
Some of you may remember
that after taking Chantix last Fall and being off the smokes for 110
days, everything in my life fell to pieces (as Jim got ill and went
into the hospital) and I was smoking again by Spring. Although my
pharmacist tried several times through the Summer, we couldn't get
Chantix covered through Medicare, part d, or the Medicaid card.
(Obviously, not much of that tax money from cigs goes towards
covering meds for someone to quit smoking. Must be why my
congressman wasn't worried about funding s-chip from another cig tax
- they'll let enough people stayed hooked to keep the money flowing)
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Fast forward to Christmas.
I used $$, from Jim's belongings that I sold, for a plane ticket
home at Christmas (we had already been planning on it as it would
have been on our anniversary). My GrandMother offered to cover the
cost of my trip; but I declined saying I preferred that Jim
paid for this ticket. (My GrandMother and I have spent numerous
hours comparing our lives of caring for our spouses before they
passed away.
That and all of our aches pains and ailments
- hers from old age (92 now and still driving!) and me from HIV and
med side effects. So she understood about the ticket.)
Instead I bargained with her. I explained that my Part D carrier was
changing, and I wanted to try getting my Chantix that way first. But
if it was still not covered, then I'd use her gift and purchase it
myself. Her gift to me was some $$, my gift to her was that I'd stop
smoking.
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| So I'm sitting here today with a
Chantix starter pack on my desk (that I had to pay cash for even on
the new plan. So "Thank you" GrandMother for the Christmas present
).
All I have to do now is decide when to start the med. I already
missed 1/18, which would have been my 24th anniversary with Randy if
things had been different. Unfortunately the next closest remarkable
dates in my life, that could be used as a stop smoking start date,
aren't until Feb and Mar. Although one date in Mar is my bday
(3/14), all the other dates have to do with Jim being in the
hospital, and I don't think I want to have any of those days
remembered. |
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Since I remember having a
couple days of puke-i-ness when I took Chantix last time (I swear
EVERY freaking med makes me puke at least a little),
I'm going to run some errands today and start Friday.
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As with last time, I'm not
quitting smoking because I give a damn about lung cancer or it's
effects on my health (it really is nearly my only vice, for heaven's
sake!), I'm quitting because I'm just too damned poor to afford it
any longer. That was my reasoning last Nov, and now that my living
expenses have gone up since losing Jim's house, I really, really
can't afford smoking. (Lordy! I've already stooped to rolling my
own!)
However, if the Chantix works again and I have really stopped in
about 6 weeks then it'll be a great healthy way for me to celebrate
turning 47. It'll also put me back on track. A year ago I had quit
smoking, was out riding a bike around town, and feeling better and
healthier than I had in years. Losing Jim took all that away
(haven't
been back on the bike but once since Jim died); but just as I've
already reclaimed part of the life I lost (the utilities and the
security of stable housing),
I hope to be back off the cigs and back onto the bike soon!
(well, as soon as the freaking snow melts and it warms up some from
10 degrees!! )
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Oh, I almost forgot to
mention one other little issue about me stopping smoking that you
should bear in mind. I tried to stop once, and the first dog Randy
and I owned passed away. I tried to stop again, and we had a
terrible house fire. I tried to stop again, and my partner died. So
I'm been warning all my friends and acquaintances to watch out.
There's no telling what might happen this time!
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| More Pix of
Corissa |
| Now that she's been in our
house for a few days, Cori is starting to feel her oats. Since she's
so small, we still have her blocked IN John's computer room, and the
dogz blocked OUT of that room. No longer is she hiding under the
couch; but she's a busy little kitty, exploring and playing with
everything in the room. We couldn't find her a while the other
night, although we could hear her meowing. John finally found her -
curled up behind a book on a shelf in his desk above his computer
tower.
She's so tiny, there are hundreds of little places like that, that
she can get into and does get into to explore and play. She is
bonding with John quite well, and even lets me pet, rub, and hold
her on my lap now. She and the dogz keep looking at each other over
the barrier I put up. Aries can't wait till she wants to play with
him. You should see his butt wiggle when he watches the kitten
around running like a maniac. |
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| Playing on the floor |
Sitting in Daddy John's chair |
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| Cori isn't sure what to
make of John's Druid character in World of Warcraft |
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Week Five: |
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| So, you didn't get enough
and wanted more
pictures of the sn@w? Well, you're in luck! It sn#wed
again, and this was a big sn@w. Over the night and most of one day,
the white stuff kept coming down and piling up. This has now been
the second sn#wiest January in Ohio since they began recording
sn@wfall amounts! |
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It usually takes a while for the
boyz to get the courage to wade out into the cold, white yard. They
actually end up padding around, packing down the sn#w, making a
small "patio" sized area in the sn@w that they don't sink into. |
| Sometimes they only get a few feet;
before scurrying back to the "safe" area around the back steps. |
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| The dogs look so tiny way
out there, walking in sn@w up to their bellies |
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| I keep on shoveling the
sn@w, and it seems like every other day or so, there's another inch
to scoop off the walks. I keep knocking down icicles (they are
dripping onto the front steps and covering the steps in thick ice);
but those icicles keep growing back. The only consolation is that
growing icicles means some of the sn#w pack is melting off the roof
of the house and porch. |
Click to see a larger version |
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Upstairs in my house, a door leads out
from the bathroom, onto the roof of the kitchen addition. (I'll have
to put up rails this Spring, and use the area as a deck this Summer.)
Wading out into about 6 inches of sn@w, I had to duck to get under
the icicles that formed throughout the day. (Yes, that's the sun
finally peeking out late in the afternoon, just in time to set.
) |
| While out on the deck, I
got a good picture looking down the tree and all the way across the
way. I thought the dogz looked tiny in that other picture I took of
the backyard; but from up here, the dogz looked really, really tiny! |
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| It's now the last day of January, and
it's day 8 of taking the Chantix - that means today is my first day
of "No Smoking". You see, the Chantix is taken in increasing dosages
during the first week to build up the chemical in your system.
You're allowed to continue smoking through that first week; but when
Day Eight rolls around, it's time to officially quit. So today is my
first day off the cigs.
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