After getting all my
updates in on time in October, things were jumping so much in
November that I didn't get around to another update until the month
ended. Ouch! If you would please go back to November Week One,
and catch up that would be great! LOL Don't worry you won't be
missing anything in December . . . yet! See World AIDS Day is on the
1st, and I've been helping Catawba Care out a lot with their event,
so I'm hoping to have my next update to you right after the 1st.
That'll start December off right.
And since I'm usually pretty good about Holiday updates, I promise
that you
shouldn't have to wait so long through December to find out what's
going on with me.
To make good on my promise, let me
start you off for a couple updates even before I get pictures from
the WAD event.
Across the Pond
Some of you may remember that I have
spoken of a lady in England that I met online through the
aidsmeds.com website, my friend Emma. With vaguely similar stories -
mainly partners that had passed away at a similar time - she and I
hit it off. Since then Em has been excellent in remembering to send
me cards whenever I moved and in some of the bad times.
Before I started my volunteer, my
friend began speaking in schools in her area, because HIV knows no
boundaries and is just as much a problem on that side of the pond as
it is on this side. Emma was contacted by some people and has been
working with UN-AIDS in their global campaign against the epidemic.
While I've been over here becoming a star on the TV channel in the
Lancaster Cty. school system, Emma has really become a star becoming
a true HIV poster girl!
And
I mean that in the nicest way. Em got a great chance to be
photographed and become part of an advertising campaign.
Isn't she beautiful?!?!
To actually SEE and HEAR Emma, visit
the
Body Shop website, and click on the "Behind the Scenes" tab.
Just skip past all that part with Annie Lennox (who cares about her?
LOL) and Emma speaks and appears near the end of the video clip.
A Moment of
Your Time, Please
Of course, with all this talk about the
thrill of friends in advertising campaigns, the excitement of the
WAD event that I'm helping with, I can't forget to ask for just a
moment of your time, please, on December 1st.
While the rest of the world, and even my friends from Catawba Care
will be using this day to further their prevention message to help
curb the HIV epidemic, for me - and for you my friends - this is
also a day for us to remember my beloved Randy and Jim.
Not a day goes by that I
don't think of them. I try to mitigate the sadness of remembering
how they are gone from me either by remembering the good times (all
I really have to do is think of amusement parks or pool parties for
that), or by throwing myself into my volunteer work to hopefully
keep someone else from living a life like I have (not that it's all
bad by any stretch, but I'm sure you can understand how I wouldn't
wish the sickness, the times in the hospitals, and the losses of a
partner onto anyone), or worse from not being able to live life
anymore like Randy and Jim.
I know many of you hurt
too thinking about my guys not being in your lives anymore either;
but always try to move passed that and think about how much better
our lives have been for having had them with us for all the years
that they were here. I can't help but remember how much each of them
loved life and really lived it too. And I guess that's what I would
like you to take away from this moment of thinking about Randy and
Jim. Think about how they lived life with gusto and how you should
too. Think about those around you that you love - and tell them that
you love them now while you still have them here with you.
I love you Randy.
I love you Jim
I miss you both every day.
I Really
Was There!
MouseOver!
I found a picture! I finally came across me in a picture taken at
the Open House for Catawba Care just a short time ago. Though it was
just a crowd shot of people chatting and eating, MouseOver this
picture and look there in the center.
It's mikie!
Keeping a
Pretty Smile
I sat in at a special
presentation at Catawba Care the other day. I did it to be helpful,
not for the free food LOL since I didn't learn about the food until
the night before. LOL
A team of dental hygienists from the
dental college in nearby York Technical College (the agency used to
be just down the road from Winthrop University and now we just
around the corner from York Technical College) wanted to partner up
with Catawba Care to help provide better dental care. The team put
on a presentation talking about oral health care and the oral
problems related to HIV and the meds.
Although some of the
pictures in the presentation during lunch were a little gross, the
ladies were interesting, pleasant and informative. Until the
information they presented, I did not know that you could get KS
(Kaposi's Sarcoma, a cancer) or Herpes Zoster (shingles) inside your
mouth!
I think in the long run
this program will be good for the clinic. They will be able to get
all the clients into preliminary dental care, cleaning, and a full
screening - for a very reasonable, actually incredible price of $25.
The clinic would then be able to send out all the real problems to a
dentist. It seems it would be a win-win situation with everyone
getting dental care and the clinic still saving a lot of money.
2010 World
AIDS Day Video Competition Show
During the final days of
planning for our World AIDS Day event, we found out that a Kwanzaa
event was going to compete with ours. Eventually they moved their
event forward and we moved ours back so that students could attend
both. We were pretty certain that since the University finally
approved "Cultural Event Credit" for our event, that it would
guarantee us at least a fair crowd.
Quicker than one would
think, the world has turned another revolution and we're back to
December 1st, World AIDS Day. Back in October our committee starting
working on putting together a video competition between the 4 local
colleges and the high schools to produce and enter video public
service announcements about HIV. For a while we were scared we
weren't going to any videos; but eventually we got some in from
students at Winthrop.
The theater itself was
very nice. In this newly-built building, it was designed well - with
a large screen, spotlights, wireless mics, 2 dressing rooms. It even
had the most awesome acoustic, where one could speak fairly normally
down in front of the screen and clearly be heard throughout the
room.
Little by the little the
auditorium began to fill up and there were fewer and fewer seats
available. The staff and I had talked about playing music as the
crowd filled in. Although the staff only picked 3 songs, thank
goodness I had brought 10 times the amount of filler music because
with people coming early and leaving the Kwanzaa event early to come
over, I ended up playing music for about 45 minutes. By the time we
were ready to start the show, it was an SRO (Standing Room Only)
crowd, overflowing with people in the stairway aisles and another
30+ people hanging around up with us in the booth at the back of the
theater.
this graphic looped as the audience entered and as they exited
Besides being on the
planning committee, working up advertising flyers and posters,
helping put together the rules in the submission packet, and setting
up an agency youtube channel (and making some videos of my own), the
contribution to the event that I'm proudest of is some videos that
played as animated backdrops during the sections of our show.
I mean this was a video competition, so I figured our show needed to
be a multimedia extravaganza! I had the music covered (Katy Perry,
Black Eyed Peas, Nicki Minja, Ke$ha, Pet Shop Boys), so it was just
a matter of making some PowerPoint animations that I could record
and play over and over in a loop.
Throughout this section about the WAD Event, you'll come across some
of my mini-movies that were used in the background that you can
view.
After our MCs, Lue and Tellus, got the show started, our Executive
Director, Anita Case took the floor to talk a little bit about
Catawba Care and the services offered. Since I've seen a lot of
Anita lately between planning for this event, going to that play not
long ago, coordinating with her about filming the staff, riding down
to the Task Force meeting with her, and watching her in action
during the Open House event for the new building, I'd like to speak
about her for just a moment.
First off, she is incredibly friendly and seems to always have a
smile. Second, not matter how much she's busy doing (and boy is she
busy a lot), she has tried to always make a few minutes to work me
into her schedule when I need to speak with her. Next, I really
appreciate that she has always listened to my thoughts and
suggestions, and has actually implemented quite a few of my ideas.
And finally, she really does know her stuff! The lady can speak at
the drop of the hat, representing not only CC but HIV infected
people and their needs, along with being able to present
education/prevention material on cue. I hear tales of how she has
turned the agency around, I have seen how tightly she has worked on
not only controlling the budget but also improving the agency, and
yet she has still had time to speak to the press and attend
statewide Task Force meetings.
this slower paced video looped during Anita's speech,
showing a few images of the new building and the Open House event.
Although I like to think that I have a lot of skills, Anita has very much
impressed me and I try to watch her and learn from you. I mean I came up through
owning a business and dealing with computer, with a dash of stage crew and speech
thrown in. I've never been a social worker and hardly much of an activist. So
I've been paying extra attention to her, to my case manager Christine, to my new
friends from the prevention and education department trying to learn the ropes,
so that I can become the activist that I would like to be.
Next in the schedule came the videos submitted by our contestants. For some time
when we were scared that we weren't going to receive any submissions, I began to
make a few of my own that we could have shown. At least it ended up being easy
deciding which video won. Since we were offering prizes for first, second and
third places and we eventually received three entries - everybody won!
To see all the videos, including the 3 contest entries, the 3 I created, and the
2 I produced of the staff, please visit the CatawbaCare youtube channel at
http://youtube.com/catawbacare
Playing the videos back-to-back, I separated them with short
graphics that matched the ones I had been using.
Since the contestant videos were a
little on the heavy side, Lue and Tellus took the next segment of
the show discussing the videos, talking about HIV and talking about
how to protect yourself from being infected. Both of our MCs are
funny and good speakers, so the audience had a great interactive
time where asking and answering questions helped them to win small
door prizes.
Even though they counted
as one of our contestants, the Wintrhop University improv acting
troupe called Skin Deep, performed several skits over the next 15
minutes. Their vingettes were really excellent (too bad that hadn't
filmed these as these were much better performances), that brought
laughter, gasps and even questions from the crowd as the troupe
spoke at the end of each skit trying to make sure their message has
gotten through.
This mime/dance skit with no words to a lovely song was actually
very moving and quite good!
this video played and stopped on the ribbons,
during the award ceremony portion of the show
Nearing the end of the evening, it was time to open up the BIG
envelope (that I made out of a piece of cardboard and wallpaper) to
retrieve the teeny-tiny card with the list of winners. Third place
received a duffel bag with various goodies, while second and third
got checks! w00t!
Of course, the MCs then thanked our Winthrop connections, our
contestants and all the people that attended. Why, surprising the
heck outta me since it wasn't on the schedule, they even
acknowledged and thanked me for my help, and presented me with the
gift of a duffel bag and a BestBuy gift card.
You know I enjoyed helping and would have helped no matter what; but
getting acknowledged and a gift was a rewarding surprise for me.
Through out the day I had
noticed something and I must not have been the only one because in
their closing remarks Lue and Tellus commented on the same topic. I
had noticed that the act of "World AIDS Day" itself was getting
short-shift in the news. Instead of red ribbons on google's front
page, the doodle was about Rosa Parks. Sure Ms Parks not moving to
the back of the bus was an important date but this was the 55th
anniversary, not the 20th, or 50th, or 75th, not really a special
anniversary. MSNBC had an "AIDS around the world" pictorial -
without one picture from America. CNN's website said nothing. Heck,
Kwanzaa wasn't for another 25 days and we had to contend with that
celebration just to hold an event that Catawba Care has been holding
at Winthrop for many years. Unfortunately some recent released
research about using one anti-HIV med by those not infected by at
high risk, which only helped 44%, seems to have become mistaken for
some sort of prophylaxis or vaccine. Not to mention the way the
state and federal budgets keep hacking into the HIV dollars like the
problem must be going anyway and doesn't need that kind of funding
anymore. For all intents and purposes, since pozzies aren't raising
a ruckus like they used to, it seems America must think the HIV
epidemic is over.
The day after the event, I
sent out a couple special Thank You's. First, I wanted to offer my
own thanks to the ladies from Winthrop University who assisted us.
Not only had they attended all of our planning meeting; but they
were instrumental in having contacts and proofing all of our
advertising materials.
Then I sent off a rather
long Thank You to the staff of Catawba Care. With this being nearly
the end of the year and just past my one year anniversary with
Catawba Care, I really wanted to thank them for an awful lot. Not
only have they taken good care of me medically; but including me
into their projects as one of their own, they have given me
opportunity after opportunity to be involved in HIV education and
prevention.
On the times, like special
holidays or occasions, when I really think about what it's like to
still be alive, and even getting healthier, when Randy and Jim have
been gone all this time, I do end up wondering why I am still here.
Oh, I just can't believe that I'm here for some divine reason. As
much as I might like to try to believe that, I just don't believe
that God works (interferes in our lives) that way. However, that
doesn't mean that my life doesn't have a purpose. It just means that
I have to make it have a purpose. Catawba Care has given me many
opportunities to make my life have purpose by trying to educate
people about HIV and by trying to prevent the further spread of HIV.
It's
Beginning To Look A Little Bit Like Christmas
Although Christmas hasn't
been that big of a holiday for me (no children and then losing
Randy; and Jim who's parent died early in life wasn't much into
Christmas and then I lost Jim too.) and I didn't do any decorating
the Christmas after each of my guys passed away, I'm not a Scrooge.
Au contraire! I actually think a little bit of decoration and a
little bit of holiday celebration does wonders for everyone.
Of course, Christmas can be sad. Of all people, I know that.
However, you can also make something out of the holidays by focusing
on the loved ones you still have with you and by spending a few
moments to enjoy the spirit of the season.
Since last year when I arrived, Mom has
been talking about cleaning out the attic. Living in a double-wide
mobile home with limited storage, our "attic" is actually a shed out
back. Mom claimed she wanted to wait till it was cool enough to kill
off any bugs and spiders out there; but last year and this year when
that kind of weather arrived, then she claimed it was too cold.
So I did the next best thing. I sorted through everything and
brought nearly 10 plastic bins and countless boxes marked "Christmas
Decorations" into the sun room for her to sort through.
At the end of all our
work, we not only had 10 bags of things to donate to Goodwill, and a
cleaned out attic (with 7 empty bins and plenty of space to store
the pool equipment); but we also had Christmas decorations to put in
the house.
Week Two:
Christmas in the Carolinas
Can you believe it?
Another year has gone by, and we've come back around to Christmas
once more. For the second year, I'm back in the Carolinas. It's very
nice to be around to celebrate with the family without living out of
my suitcase for 4 or 5 days. And even though it's pretty and I do
miss it a little bit, it's actually nice to NOT have a white
Christmas.
As is my tradition, I've
started up annual Holiday section to share my Christmas with you my
online friends. Please take a few minutes, click on the doggie
picture below and take a gander at Christmas in the Carolinas 2010.
(well, as much Christmas as one can have when it's only Dec. 12th.
)
Click on the doggies to
view the Holiday Pages
Speaking of those Christmas
decorations we got out of the attic, we now have those up in the
house and those pictures are over in this holiday section now.
Yard Work
I've been hearing from my
friends up North that there's white stuff on the ground. I have to
admit I do miss it some. However, I think that I have transferred my
snow-shoveling fetish into something else - leaf-raking!
Having already tackled the easy
driveway and small front yard grassy area, I've now been working on
my side of the yard. I definitely wanted to clear stuff off the
area, so that next Spring I'll be able to re-plant grass and
hopefully have a green lawn this next Summer.
As I work through the
sections of the yards, I've been busily accumulating piles of
leaves.
Oh no!
Look at all the leaves out in the big back yard!
I feel like I just finished shoveling my walks
and another 4 inches of sn@w fell!
I have a plan and purpose for raking
all the leaves, rather than letting them lie around au naturale.
Using the chipper, I have been shredded leaves into my gardens and
turning the soil over every few days. I'm putting the compost right
into the gardens.
Ick. The Mexican garden is looking sad.
Although I've blown the leaves out several times, they keep on
falling in. Add to that, that some of the cacti is going to sleep
for the Winter, and the whole garden is just looking a little
decrepit.
I've also been keeping the leaves
cleared off of the pool area. Later, after we get into the new year,
I'll have to move the ground cover and dig some more, getting the
area better leveled for this next year. Until then, I'm trying to
keep all the sticks and acorns out of the way, since I'll have to
clear that kind of stuff away before setting the pool up again next
season.
Week Three:
BRRRRR!
Of course, just like when
I shoveled snow, everyone here thinks I'm whack-a-doo for raking all
the leaves. Not because they shouldn't be raked; but for doing this
chore when it's so cold outside. I mean, it's been freezing down
here - literally! Several nights have gone down into the teens and a
few days we've been lucky just to get back into the low 30's. Why, I
didn't need to wear any of my Ohioian thermal underwear last year,
and I've been putting it on for about a week now.
Last night when I sprang
to window to see what was the matter, what to my wondering eyes
should appear, but new-falling sn@w!! (my deepest apologies to
whoever the author of "Twas the Night Before Christmas")
For nearly half an hour, flurries fell
from the sky, and as you can see from this picture there was even
some accumulation.
Ok, ok. So a little bit of snow ended up on the walkway. We are
talking South Carolina here, so this does count as an "accumulating
snow".
Although I will understand if my friends back in Ohio, who just
received another six inches of the white stuff, differ with
me on what the word accumulate really means.
Christmas in the Carolinas
Click on the doggies to
view the Holiday Pages
Week Four:
400 Years
in the Making
A Lunar Eclipse and the Winter Solstice
For the first time in 400 years, a
lunar eclipse was going to coincide with the start of Winter. I've
taken pix of many partial lunar eclipses through the years and only
one of a total eclipse, so I was very excited to get some pix from
this event - especially since being down South now meant I wouldn't
freeze to death standing outside at night off-and-on over the course
of several hours getting the pictures.
Just my luck, a half hour
before the eclipse was to start, clouds starting rolling in. On the
radar it wasn't a very wide band of clouds and was moving fairly
fast so I still had hopes of catching the event. However, once the
clouds came over this area, their movement stalled out and the hung
around. And hung around. and hung around.
So I stayed up waiting and
checking on the clouds every 15 minutes or so. Since this event was
supposed to start around 12:30 and end around 3:30 in the morning,
to stay awake I watched movies.
First I watched "The Kids are All
Right" starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo.
This was a movie about a lesbian couple with two children whom the
couple had conceived via a sperm donor. When the daughter is about
to go off to college, she and he younger brother contact their
"father" aka the sperm donor. While the movie was interesting and
good because it had it's touching and it's funny moments, I felt it
left things unfinished at the last. I guess in the big picture, it
was most interesting because it showed the family as basically as
normal as any other family.
Next up was a scary movie. Having
already seen the first movie, I had been waiting for a chance to see
"Paranormal Activities 2". First told through handheld camera
images, the movie is about a family bringing home their newborn son
- and then having paranormal activities begin to take place. At
first, they just suspect a break-in and after having security
cameras installed throughout the house, the rest of the story comes
through watching the family viewed through those cameras. As each
night progresses, you focus on looking throughout each of the cam
views, waiting to see some unexplainable event happening. The
anticipation, just like with the first movie, is what gives this
movie it's scare factor.
During both movies, I kept
checking on the cloud situation, and every time was more
disappointed and frustrated that the cloud cover had stalled out
over this area. I had been hoping since I had stayed up so very long
that I would be able to get pictures of the shadow leaving the moon
at least - but no such luck. I eventually went on to bed, and waking
up once in the night (well, early morning) around 6:30, I peeked out
and saw that the clouds had finally moved on - and the sun was about
to come up.
Just because there were no
pictures of the lunar eclipse this year, I won't leave you hanging.
Here are some of the pictures I took of another eclipse back in
October 2004, while I was living at my house on 14th St. up in
Canton, Ohio. If you get a chance to see a lunar eclipse yourself,
you should take the opportunity. As the moon enters the Earth's
shadow, it slowly pick up a reddish tinge and is quite spectacular -
much more than these pictures show - as a blood red moon hanging in
the night time sky.
The First
Day of Winter in the Woods
From the upper gate of my backyard (the
garden is off to the right, and that's the deck on the left heading
over toward the house) looking toward the back of the property, you
can barely seen the neighbors on the other side of the gulley (I
don't think it's big enough to call a it a valley LOL).
Looking down the "valley"
The woods in our front yard
Our house in the woods
Christmas is in the air, and the
hollyberries are out on the bush. I thought this was a pretty
picture - pretty enough for a desktop picture. If you'd like to have
this pix for your desktop, click on the image and when a new window
opens with the larger picture, right click and save that image.
A White
Christmas in South Carolina?!?!
Something else was in the air besides a
touch of Christmas. Although it hasn't happened since 1947 (which is
a lot longer than I've been alive!) the most unusual event of a
White Christmas happened again this year. Late in the afternoon, the
flakes began falling and by nightfall the sn@w was starting to
accumulate.
By the next morning, it
was a regular Winter Wonderland.
The boyz thought we had left all this
kind of weather behind and really wondered what the heck was going
on down here in the supposedly "warm and sunny" South.
The snow on my fence.
Hard to believe veggies
were just growing out here in the garden just a few short months
ago.
My side yard and the apple
tree.
The big back yard sure
doesn't look like a place to have a pool right now. LOL
The Mexican garden isn't
very warm and inviting.
Looking up the driveway, out to the
road.
Our little house in the cold snowy woods.
Christmas in the Carolinas
Click on the doggies to
view the Holiday Pages
Week Five:
The Day
After the Day After Tomorrow
The day after Christmas and after the
sn@w, the Bivens clan met up for our annual
Christmas family get together.
(How nice it is to not have to be living out of suitcases and only
visiting this week.)
However, it the was the day after the day after Christmas that the
sun finally came out, the temps started to rise and the sn@w started
to melt.
Even though it's cold, the sn@w is very
pretty.
My AIDS-aversary!
WooHoo! I just celebrated
my 18th AIDS-aversary!
Man, has a lot happened in
that time - a lot of bad stuff. Oh don't get me wrong, things aren't
so bad at all these days; but there was enough bad getting to this
point, that it's hard to say whether it was worth it all or not. I'd
like to be just an optimist (because it's that positive attitude
that gets me through the days); but I'm just too much of a realist,
to just ignore all the stuff that happened and just be blindly
thankful that I'm alive today.
Although I may be healthier now than ever in the last 20 years,
have the best numbers ever in that time (undetectable and for the
second test in a row barely breaking 300 tcells),
be able to volunteer a lot of time and energy to helping my ASO and
advancing HIV/AIDS causes here in my state, and not be homeless (that situation
came way too close 3 years running); I still don't know that that is
adequate compensation for all those years I spent sick as a dog,
barfing my guts out, being in the hospital, fighting for medical
care, and of course, worse of all, losing Randy and Jim.
Even though I'm better about things here 14 years after Randy's
death, there's still a huge hole in my heart and life where he
should be. Even though I know that dealing with Randy's passing has
helped me adapt and move on faster after Jim's passing (although
losing our home and ending up having to move to SC really gave me no
choice about moving on), it's just been a few months over 2 years
ago that I lost Jim and that hole in my life is still very tangible and painful.
And lest I be accused of being melodramatic, earlier this month I
was surprised to be reminded of both of my guys. First, I came
across a Christmas music box that Randy painted just a month after
he had been so sick and a month before we would find out we were HIV
positive and had AIDS. Then, tucked inside a Christmas card was a
very touching gift of two pictures of Jim and I at a company
Christmas party. (more about that in a minute)
But I am glad. Glad to be alive and
glad to be healthier (bless these newer meds. and I guess bless
those older ones for getting me this far). I'm glad I have old and
new friends, and family that loves me. I'm glad to be back down
South (except this snow needs to finish melting!) And I'm glad to be
giving back and working with Catawba Care.
With as many times as I thought I was
going to be dead and being as sick as I was, these days are pretty
amazing!
Bittersweet
Memories
Two unexpected events this
month caused me to happily remember my past, even if there was a
tinge of sadness.
In case you didn't read
this story over in my Holidays Section, let me tell you part of it
here. As Mom and I were sorting through Christmas decoration, we
came across a very special piece - a Christmas music box that Randy
had painted. Sure enough, on the base were Randy's initials and the
date "10-92". Boy, does that take me back. The previous month of
September that year, Randy had been off-and-on sick and just a month
and a half later in December, we would find out that we were HIV
positive.
Although, I was very moved
to find this music box (and moved to "steal" it from Mom), I felt
like I've made a lot of progress in my life. Finding this piece
didn't move me to tears; but I was able to remember those good times
that Randy had painting ceramics all those years ago. Even though
our lives were already on a path to destruction, we didn't know it
yet and those were some good years together.
Sadly, but thankfully,
learning from the death of one partner has greatly helped me in
adapting to the death of a second partner.
Unexpectedly, a special
Christmas card from my friend Gayle (back in Ohio) came with a
surprise gift inside - pictures of Jim. She sent me two pictures of
Jim and I from the 2000 Christmas party, while Jim and I both were
working at the Waikem Auto Group.
And these aren't just any
old pictures of us either. These are pictures of what is probably
our first official date!
I remember this party so well. I was still recovering from being in
the hospital with pneumonia about a year and a half prior and I was
just starting to work part time for the Waikem dealership putting
their used cars online. Up until this time, Jim and I had been
friends; but this night, at this party, I think was the first night
I thought that we felt like a "couple".
Here's my picture from that party of
Gayle right as she was taking these pictures of us.
Though this definitely
isn't the best picture of either Jim or I, I wouldn't trade it for
the world. It really brought back excellent memories of how happy I
was becoming in those days. I was just beginning to feel a little
bit of hope that I wasn't so near death. I was working at a job that
I enjoyed and would enjoy for several more years. And my friendship
with Jim was turning into something much more that would make me
happy for the next decade of my life.
Another
Year Ends
Since I had a serious
upheaval in my life just over a year ago that ended up with my
moving to SC, I've been trying something out this whole year and
have had fair results, so I can't complain. You know I always talk
about how it takes work and time to solve your problems? Well, my
problem in coming to SC was that I'm alone - single (as in
twice-widowed) and with no local friends. The solution to that
problem meant I was really going to have to work on putting myself
out there, taking advantage of every opportunity I could, and using
as many experiences as possible to meet other people.
Now, it's not like I'm
looking for a new boyfriend, although I fell in love twice, so I
wouldn't be adverse to that happening again; but I left a bunch of
friends 550 miles away and really need some local friends that I can
hang out with too. Of course, being honest, I'm not even 50 yet, so
finding someone to hook-up with would be nice too. (that's a really
nice way to say that I'm still looking for someone to have sex with
)
So trying to fend off
being alone has been one of the big motivational pushes I've had
into doing the volunteer work that I've been doing this year. But I
also took opportunities at many social events (movie night, classes,
luncheons) sponsored by the clinic, my class reunion, meeting up
with old friends from my childhood (Jackie and our Christmas trip to
the beach last year, Phil and our day at the Renaissance Festival),
and meeting up with newer friends (like Bill down in Chester) to get
myself "out there".
In keeping in that spirit,
I have another opportunity coming up as the year ends and the next
one begins. Some of those new friends that I've made (Larry and Ken)
recently invited me out to the movies (we went to see the latest
Narnia movie - Voyage of the Dawn Treader) and now have invited me
to join them at their friend's New Year Party. You know I've either
been so sick, or so "married", in the last two decades that I bet I
really haven't gone out to celebrate the beginning of a year since
1992!! I'd say it was about time to go out again.
So Goodbye to 2010, and
Hello to 2011.
I wish to all of my friends and family (and that's YOU reading this!)
a very Happy New Year!
May good fortune
come your way; and if not ,may you have the strength to put in the
work to change the things you don't like and the patience to wait
until things get better.
Starting off the new year, I had an
endoscopy done and my throat stretched so that I was
able to eat again without issues. Later in the
month, I met up with my cousins for the first time
in nearly 3 decades. We had our first snowfall.
We had our second snow day. I
changed meds and now only take 3 pills a day -
although the change had me puking a couple of days.
I started doing volunteer work for Catawba Care.
After a few flurries, Spring came
with early flowers and cabin fever - so I went to
work on starting new gardens around the property. I
also attended my first rally in SC for ADAP funding.
After all the Bivenses Birthdays, it was time to
actually plant the garden before the month ended.
Spring was all about growing
things. I taught a class in "container planting",
while at home everything was in bloom. The plants in
the garden were springing from the ground, as I was
digging up the ground to put up our new pool for the
summer, which I opened up as the month ended.
In honor of both Jim and Randy, I
worked for a cause this month - the cause of
preventing the spread of HIV (working the exhibition
booth at the Strawberry Festival) and the cause of
getting access to HIV meds (the rally in Columbia
for ADAP funding). All the while things grew and
blossomed in the yards.
Sun. Swimming. Flowers. Vegetables.
And the best news in 20 years as I had the highest
cd4 count ever! I worked in the gardens, did many
small projects, and put together a small deck out by
the pool. Oh, did I mention swimming, there was a
lot of water and sun for me this month as I enjoyed
my first summer back South.
Flowers were blossoming, plants
were growing, and the garden was producing
vegetables. I made homemade salsa! I also spent a
lot of time out at the pool, reading and swimming,
because that's what Summer is all about.
While my poor garden was dying of
the heat and drought, I was busy working the fairs -
manning the exhibition booth for Catawba Care.
However, I still got plenty of time swimming,
sunning, reading books - and riding roller coasters!
After 30+ years, I returned to Carowinds - just 3
miles from the house.
I had to finally dig up all the
dead plants in the garden. There was a ton of
butterflies all around the property. I spent a lot
more time volunteering for the ASO and working the
exhibition booth, packaging condoms, being on the
Client Advisory Board, and beginning to work on our
World AIDS Day event coming up in December.
While still working on the upcoming
WAD event, I made my own PSA videos, and even
starred in one made by the Lancaster Cty. School
system. More volunteer work for the clinic did get
me some perks though. I got to attend a play, a
volunteer appreciation luncheon (where I was the key
note speaker and Volunteer of the Year recipient!),
and a statewide HIV/AIDS conference down in the
state capital. Sadly I closed up the pool and had
car problems; but made up for that by attending my
30-year class reunion AND the Renaissance Festival.
(This was definitely the busy month of the year and
for me in a long time!)
This month started off pretty darn
good! Although my back was achy from doing too darn
much last month, I got back good and stable lab
results (cd4s slightly over 300 for the 3rd time in
20 yrs!). I had my rat-tail cut off after 23 yrs and
donated to "Locks of Love". Worked really hard on
the WAD event quickly approached and attended the
10-yr Anniversary and Open House for the new
building for Catawba Care. I had my second
Thanksgiving back with my family having a get
together at one brother's house and then the other
one's a couple days later. I am really happy to back
home and so close to my bros, their wives, and my
nieces and nephews!
DEC
WOW! The World AIDS Event finally
arrived and was a success with an SRO crowd. I raked
and chipped leaves just in time as we had
sn@w! Yes, South Carolina
had a White Christmas this year!
And since I'm usually pretty good about Holiday updates, I promise
that you
shouldn't have to wait so long through December to find out what's
going on with me.
And
I mean that in the nicest way. Em got a great chance to be
photographed and become part of an advertising campaign.
I love you Jim
come your way; and if not ,may you have the strength to put in the
work to change the things you don't like and the patience to wait
until things get better.
